It's 0344, and I'm still awake...

The love of my life is still sleeping & has to be up in about an hour and I'm not quietly resting next to him. This has been a painfully difficult night full of Sudoku, peaches and for some STRANGE reason...I watched an entire hour of Keeping Up with the Kardashian's.

I'm officially in Hell.


Smoked two cigarettes, and I'm afraid I'll have an even harder time waking up whenever I do finally crash.

I do believe this is all because of the Harvest Moon and my fears of having to go back to work soon. I hate when it feels like time is running out. I'm as anxious as ever and it's fucking with my precious sleep time! ><

Today was a glorious day though. A long, long, long lost friend of mine was recovered today. It only took about three and a half years [8/21/04 - 4/21/08] to find her. Reading a few messages over again and again, I'm amazed that after all I've gone through over this that a tear hasn't come to my eye yet. It'll come though when I speak to her again. Strangely enough, this long lost friend is an old girlfriend. How is it, I wonder, that I am still such good friends with all of my ex-girlfriends but yet none of my ex-boyfriends? Heh.

Coming back to my current, whom I ♥ to death, I wish he was awake right now. I want to talk to him so bad. I feel like I'm messing so many things up. I hope he understands just how much I love and need him in my life, and how empty I'd be without him. I'm a handful, I know, but still...he's my everything. I wish for nothing more than to make him happy in return for making me complete.

It's drawing closer to 0430. I thought I was crashing but I was so wrong. It just will not happen! I guess it's just easier to stay up at this point. And probably will be for the rest of the day although I know I'll never make it to 2100. Not with all I should do today. I need to cash my check and look into this lovely Dodge Intrepid that I want. That reminds me, wtf is Cypress?!? lol All I know is it's a gay word for silver/green.

Now I'm just rambling.

I guess it's time to post this so I can stop staring at this ridiculously bright monitor. But hey, at least I finally posted something after a year and a half. :]

♪♫♪♫♪♫♪
Bury the blade.
I'm counting on you to bury the blade.
♪♫♪♫♪♫♪

I want to sleep at last.


*;//Ametsuyu.